J'aime Paris!

So.

I only decided about a week and a half ago that I am positively going to France.

That being said, I have:

-had five freak outs
-had one major freak out to the point of crying at work I was so stressed out
-almost withdrawn from the program
-given twelve million self pep talks
-made eighty billion pro/con lists
-eaten too much chocolate {and that says a lot coming from me}

But, I also...

-spoke French with a new friend
-was asked by someone at work about the pronunciation of French words to translate them for TV
-have been able to use my French to help tutor my Spanish speaking student learning to read English
-spoke French with a stranger
-met three Haitians {LOVE that word!} and spoke French with them - they said I had a good accent!
-had many moments of peace about my decision {although they are quickly followed by a fresh wave of panic}
-am getting REALLY excited!

Plus I had a great conversation with Shea Whitney today and she calmed me down. Luckily she is a little bit saner than I am.

So for now, I am still planning on living in Paris, France for a year.

How lucky is that!



Peace and Blessings

Things I must get done in the next four months...

* Complete my course contracts
* Write and send my scholarship acceptance letter
* Go to the San Fransisco French Embassy to get my Visa (and visit the Full House house)
* Find housing in France...yeah.
* Sell my car
* Get together all the things I will need while in France
* Put holds on all of my accounts
* Buy a plane ticket
* Refrain from having anymore freak outs.

This list will only continue to grow.

Awesome.

From Lemony Snicket "Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid"

"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things."

Okay. That is so not how Mer and Christina act. "Let's hug it out...I'm really proud of you Meredith Grey."

Whatever.

But this episode looks promising. Hopefully it will be exciting to save the season from being a complete mess of mediocrity.

We will find out in t-minus eighteen hours...


Peace and Blessings

Yes, I did leave the house like this.

So I know I'm having one of those days when I have had this exact conversation {or similar ones... multiple times a day}.

Me: Hi, how are you doing today?

Person With No Tact: I'm good how are you?

M: I'm very well thank you

PWNT: You are?

M: ...yes?

PWNT: Oh.

M: Well, I mean, I'm a little tired...

PWNT: Yeah you look...{studying the unkempt frizzy mess atop my head that I call hair, barely there makeup, slouched position because my chair back is broken, overall bored expression, lack of lip gloss and unfortunate outfit that doesn't quite go because I was trying to be bold}... tired.

M: ...I'm going to get some chocolate.

Letter from John Keats to Fanny Brawne

My dearest Girl,

This moment I have set myself to copy some verses out fair. I cannot proceed with any degree of content. I must write you a line or two and see if that will assist in dismissing you from my Mind for ever so short a time. Upon my Soul I can think of nothing else - The time is passed when I had power to advise and warn you again[s]t the unpromising morning of my Life - My love has made me selfish. I cannot exist without you - I am forgetful of every thing but seeing you again - my Life seems to stop there - I see no further. You have absorb'd me. I have a sensation at the present moment as though I was dissolving - I should be exquisitely miserable without the hope of soon seeing you. I should be afraid to separate myself far from you. My sweet Fanny, will your heart never change? My love, will it? I have no limit now to my love - Your note came in just here - I cannot be happier away from you - 'T is richer than an Argosy of Pearles. Do not threat me even in jest. I have been astonished that Men could die Martyrs for religion - I have shudder'd at it - I shudder no more - I could be martyr'd for my Religion - Love is my religion - I could die for that - I could die for you. My Creed is Love and you are its only tenet - You have ravish'd me away by a Power I cannot resist: and yet I could resist till I saw you; and even since I have seen you I have endeavoured often "to reason against the reasons of my Love." I can do that no more - the pain would be too great - My Love is selfish - I cannot breathe without you.

Yours for ever
John Keats

How wonderful.

{From "Bright Star"}

Today I had a perfect moment...

I was sitting at a stop light with my windows down, eating a piece of Dove dark chocolate, listening to Bach and thinking about France.

As if this wasn't awesome enough I saw a missionary on the side of the road physically high five a man driving by in a work truck.

He will do great things.

Love it!

My New Theme Song...

In the past month I...

got a raise at work.

received a full tuition scholarship for the 2010-2011 school year.

was accepted for an internship in France.

Awesome.