"If This Was a Movie"

Last night I heard my own heart beating
Sounded like footsteps on my stairs
Six months gone and I'm still reaching
Even though I know you're not there
I was playing back a thousand memories baby
Thinkin bout everything we've been through
Maybe I've been going back too much lately
When time stood still and I had you

Come back come back come back to me like
You would you would if this was a movie
Stand in the rain outside til I came out
Come back come back come back to me like
You could you could if you just said you're sorry
I know that we could work it out somehow
But if this was a movie you'd be here by now

I know people change and these things happen
But I remember how it was back then
Locked up in your arms and our friends are laughing
Cause nothing like this ever happened to them
Now I'm pacing down the hall
Chasing down your street
Flashback to the night when you said to me
Nothing's gonna change not for me and you
Not before I knew how much I had to lose

Come back come back come back to me like
You would you would if this was a movie
Stand in the rain outside til i came out
Come back come back come back to me like
You could you could if you just said you're sorry
I know that we could work it out somehow
But if this was a movie you'd be here by now

If you're out there if you're somewhere if you're moving on
I've be waiting for you ever since you've been gone
I just want it back the way it was before
And i just wanna see you back at my front door
And I'd say

Come back come back come back to me like
You would before you said its not that easy
Before the fight before i locked you out
But I'd take it all back now

Come back come back come back to me like
You would you would if this was a movie
Stand in the rain outside til i came out
Come back come back come back to me like
You could you could if you just said you're sorry
I know that we could work it out somehow
But if this was a movie you'd be here by now

You'd be here by now
It's not the kind of ending you wanna see now
Baby what about the ending
Oh i thought you'd be here by now oh ohh ohh ohh
Thought you'd be here by now

-Taylor Swift

You still take my breath away.

But not in a good way.

I move 5,000 miles away,

but you are still everywhere.

I still need you.

You are the one person I needed to talk to today. Unfortunately you are the one person I can't talk to.

I hate this.

Swiss Days: A Yearly Tradish

One wonderful fall day in September 2008 Malinda aka my mom and I went to the awe-inspiring festival that is Swiss Days. Shortly after visiting Swiss Days we {meaning I} decided to make it a yearly tradish.

Since my first glorious encounter with Swiss Days I have found my love to only grow into a true passion for the yearly event celebrating the founding of Midway, Utah by the Swiss. I look forward to it and plan for it months in advance. It is a Swiss inspired playground for old and young alike who enjoy jewelry, quilting, metal statues of elk, kitchy house wares photography of families dressed alike, children's costumes, cutting boards in the shapes of pigs, soap with things in it, Swiss singers and dancers- in legit costumes and all and my personal favorite the "Swiss Royalty." I'm not really sure what the point is but these girls just do their Swiss thing.

There is also an outstanding display of Swiss based food. This includes Swiss scones, Swiss sandwiches, Swiss Ice, or as you common people know it as snow cones, Swiss water and SWISS NUTS!

This brings me to the ultimate part of the Swiss experience: the Swiss Nuts sign. Our first visit to Swiss Days my mom and I thought it would be clever to take a picture under the Swiss Nuts sign. Get it? Because we are nuts about the Swiss!

Year 1: 2008

This is after many attempts to get the sign in the background. Malinda is a little crazy-eyed but this was the best we got. Notice my hair. It was hot so I pulled it up. Cute.

Year 2: 2009

Shea Whitney joined us this year. UNFORTUNATELY the Swiss nuts sign wasn't there so some nice lady took a picture of us. On the bus. Once again, it was hot this year. I may have fainted under the band stand's shade.

Year 3: 2010

Malinda's religion is showing and I have somewhat of a grimace- it was hot and I just needed a Swiss Ice, but we were reunited with our sign so all was well at Swiss Days.

This segues me to my final thoughts about Swiss Days. In case you didn't catch it, it is bloody hot. It's the kind of hot that I might kill someone because I'm mad it's so hot. Every year Malinda laughs at me and asks why I put myself through sweating out my weight in Swiss Gatorade but I do it because I love it. I love the Swiss food and Swiss entertainment and Swiss goods. I wouldn't trade looking through all of the Swiss booths and eating Swiss carmel apples with Swiss Malinda for anything. Not even skipping the Swiss dehydration and Swiss heat stroke part.

Here's to Swiss Days 2011!

Also look at this word:

pulchritudinous

It means beautiful. But when I see it I think of a pterodactyl.

P&B

Cold Tangerines

"I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines, and sing out loud in the car with the windows open, and wear pink shoes, and stay up all night laughing, and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets, and throw parties, and eat ripe tomatoes, and read books so good they make me jump up and down."

Shauna Niequist

TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN

Dear Reader,

I am moving to France. In ten days. It's happening.

I am excited and nervous and tired just thinking about it and over emotional {I literally started crying about chocolate. While I was texting Jenna. Because I was telling her how much I love it. I may be losing it.} and I'm ready to go but not ready to leave.

Ron: One person couldn't feel all of that, they'd explode.

Hermione: Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have.

I think my emotional range is the size of the Black Lake {Harry Potter reference. Try to keep up, yeah?}.

Maybe once I know where I'm living I'll be okay. I'd rather not have to peddle the streets of Paris like Esmerelda in Notre Dame, living in the Metro station making friends with the pigeons and goats.

Whatever these are legit fears.

I'll keep you updated. In the meantime I will be reading Harry Potter, eating chocolate chip cookies and napping.

Things I must get done continued...

I have...
purchased my plane ticket {$267 round trip!}
gone to San Fran to get my visa
gotten halfway through my course contracts
written my acceptance letter for my scholarship

I need to...
finish my course contracts
email my school
contact the bishop of my future ward
find housing

I have 36 days until I leave.

WOW!

7.19.10

"Read the best books first, or you may not have a chance to read them all."

Henry David Thoreau

7.16.10

"A ship in the harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are built for."

7.12.10

"Books are not made for furniture, but there is nothing else that so beautifully furnishes a house."


-Henry Ward Beecher

90 days

give or take

Love love love!

This tumblr

A few of my favorite things...

My best friend, aka my person, and I tend to be completely oblivious to the world around us. It does not matter what setting we may be in, or who might be listening to our conversation, we talk loudly about inappropriate things/giggle/gesture wildly and make extreme facial expressions as if we were the only two people around.

One might say that when together we have the combined maturity level of a 5 year old.

We don't purposely lack regard for others, it's just sort of how we've always been. And to add to this we are not very smooth in most situations. Alone we are fine. But for some reason that I cannot figure out, when we get together we overcompensate and fly into a panic and make fools of ourselves.

It's rather strange.

Together we've been cussed out, gotten in trouble by multiple teachers at school and been far past embarrassed to the point of mortification in work settings. But, I think we are now too far beyond caring what people think so we are even more disruptive, loud, and inconsiderate to really change.

Although we've been in uncomfortably awkward situations, this is one of my favorite things about our relationship.

I also love that when sitting in church, all Jenna has to do is flash me a look and I know exactly what she is thinking (WHY is that girl making that face? or HOT PINK high heels should be banned). I love when we are supposed to be quiet one of her looks will send me (and her) off into a fit of hunched and shaking shoulders, trying to cover a red face, tears pouring out and disgustingly unattractive snort laughing. I love that if we ever get into some weird tiff (usually due to my lack of maturity) we almost instantly move on from it by realizing how much we just love each other. I love that we call each other "my person" and completely mean it. I love that we regularly visit someone's bench at the cemetery, even going as far as cleaning off the headstone, and have been for the past 4 years. I love that we used to sneak Jenna out of her house so she could sleepover at my house, even though her parents knew the whole time. I love that we can have a completely intellectual conversation about some novel or exotic place, shortly followed by "Oh my heck (fill in the blank) is so hot. I mean seriously. I just want to make out with his body." I love that Jenna appreciates the word apothem just as much as I do.

I just love that girl.

Happy birthday my tiny dancer. I love you more than I could ever say!

P&B

Yeah yeah yeah!

Today I received an email with a list of all of the other teaching assistants going to France with me this year!

Two of them have already written!

I am excited!

FRANCE!

Stupid.

Today is stupid.

It is a stupid, stupid day.

I just want to get into my bed, eat chocolate, and watch Grey's.

Stupid.

"It's Friday,

I'm in love."

My Foxy Lady

Recently I've had this new found obsession with foxes.

Why?

Because they are cool.

I think it may have started when I watched the movie Fantastic Mr. Fox {"I'm asking if he thinks we're in for a hard winter.... He doesn't seem to know"} a few weeks ago. I really just want one as a pet. Wouldn't that be so cool!? "Yeah, this is my pet Fox, Foxy. Jealous?"

In case you were wondering, I've found out some interesting facts about foxes...

A pack of foxes is called a skulk.

A fox's bushy tail is called a brush.

Its acute muzzle is called a fox face.

Foxes stalk their prey just like cats. Also like cats, they often play with their catch before they kill it. If they aren’t hungry, they may even catch mice just to play with, then let them go when they are done.

A fox’s hearing is so sharp they can hear a watch ticking forty yards away.

Although it is a member of the dog family, some of the fox's habits are very cat like as well.

{I don't even know if this is a fox... but look how cute it is!}

"Vulpes Vulpes!"



Foxes rock.

J'aime Paris!

So.

I only decided about a week and a half ago that I am positively going to France.

That being said, I have:

-had five freak outs
-had one major freak out to the point of crying at work I was so stressed out
-almost withdrawn from the program
-given twelve million self pep talks
-made eighty billion pro/con lists
-eaten too much chocolate {and that says a lot coming from me}

But, I also...

-spoke French with a new friend
-was asked by someone at work about the pronunciation of French words to translate them for TV
-have been able to use my French to help tutor my Spanish speaking student learning to read English
-spoke French with a stranger
-met three Haitians {LOVE that word!} and spoke French with them - they said I had a good accent!
-had many moments of peace about my decision {although they are quickly followed by a fresh wave of panic}
-am getting REALLY excited!

Plus I had a great conversation with Shea Whitney today and she calmed me down. Luckily she is a little bit saner than I am.

So for now, I am still planning on living in Paris, France for a year.

How lucky is that!



Peace and Blessings

Things I must get done in the next four months...

* Complete my course contracts
* Write and send my scholarship acceptance letter
* Go to the San Fransisco French Embassy to get my Visa (and visit the Full House house)
* Find housing in France...yeah.
* Sell my car
* Get together all the things I will need while in France
* Put holds on all of my accounts
* Buy a plane ticket
* Refrain from having anymore freak outs.

This list will only continue to grow.

Awesome.